Why I must write now.

I kept telling myself I was never meant to write about things that consist of my feelings or of my dreams. Never to write works of fantasy, write about worlds grasped by chaos, or even my personal feelings. I and the other “I’s”, always kept telling me that it wasn’t going to be something anyone would want to read. I even now think that no one will ever read my works, so I will keep having the thoughts to stop a project and let the people in the world die off, to never have conclusion that they deserve. I put them away into the back of mind to play out the story that they would of or could have gone through, the struggles that they would endure and ultimately the hate that they would have for me after I tear their world apart from things that must happen to them, but I am slowly realizing, as such I am writing this out, that without putting it down on paper, the emotions of the characters slowly get distorted by my fragile mind. They start to take a different path than I originally wanted them to take; they aren’t going towards the light at the end of a long journey that, through an unwelcomed amount of hardship, I had originally planned. These characters are just stopping the journey and just not wanting to go forward, the hard ship I was putting them through was too much and they ultimate just give up and start looking forward to death. This was never meant to happen to these characters, these souls. They were meant to succeed where I couldn’t in life. The path taken was going to be hard for them, but in time they would get stronger through this hardship, wither they wanted to or at least die the hero I always saw them as, with a legend that other people could never hope to become. I realized that maybe keeping them lock in the dark recesses of my mind might have broken them from actually going forward. So I, to keep them from becoming like me, must write the stories I tell myself to keep me from going insane from all the darkness shrouding me, I must make it so they go on the journey to become the hero that can endure what I myself couldn’t. I can’t keep them trapped within the darkness like this, because this darkness will and has whittled away their dreams. I have to give them a way out and the only way I can do that is give them a goal to work towards, and so I will give them the only thing I can think of; A story written, even with no one ever going to read it, but at least a way out for them. I might be in the darkness, yet I wish them a happiness I will never obtain, a happiness that will make it worth living for.